Girl Reporter

Girl Reporter

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Post Election Obots - My First Video!!!!

Here is my FIRST EVER youtube video!!! It is post-election Obots griping about the election!!!

So There!!!

Girl Reporter

Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Loser Song by Squeeky Fromm

Here is a song I wrote for the people who are going to lose Tuesday! I wonder who they are going to be???? (LOL!!!)

The Loser Song

I only know two chords, A minor and C, so that is why this is simple. It is written "non - partisan" so anybody can use it forever!!!

Girl Reporter

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Obama and Golfing - Is It A Subconcious Return to the Kenyan Veldt?

Non-Burrowing Animals on the 13th Hole

 Many people have commented on the amount of golfing done by Obama. I think it is a attempt by Obama to return to the open grasslands of the Kenya he grew up in. Soooo, just what is a "Veldt"??? Wiki says:

The term Veld (sometimes Veldt) refers primarily (but not exclusively) to the wide open rural spaces of South Africa or southern Africa and in particular to certain flatter areas or districts covered in grass or low scrub. The word veld comes from the Afrikaans (ultimately from Dutch), literally meaning 'field'.

However, this simple translation does not convey the subtleties of the many idiomatic nuances of the term. Veld can be compared to the Australian terms "outback" or "bush," to "the prairie" of North America, or to the "pampas" of South America but the comparisons are not exact. A Yorkshireman might equate "wandering across the moors" to "walking through the veld."

By extension, the veld can be compared to 'the boondocks' or those places 'beyond the black stump' in Australia. There is a sense in which it refers in essence to unimproved land (and is therefore not the equivalent of the English "paddock") but in other senses the veld can include areas used both for pastoral activities and the planting of crops. The word is less appropriate for land that is heavily forested, mountainous, or urban. (On the other hand, a carefully-husbanded sports field on which the game of Rugby is played in the middle of cities such as Cape Town or Johannesburg is referred to as a "rugbyveld").

Whereas mountainous peaks and forests are not really welcome on the veld, bushes are acceptable. The area then becomes "bosveld." There are minor examples of bosveld here and there but the term is used mainly to describe Die Bosveld ("The Bushveld"), which is both a loose botanical classification and a specific geographical part of what used to be known as the Transvaal (see, for example, Jock of the Bushveld).

Now, does this describe a golf course or does it not??? And as Keith Koffler says:

Obama Has Shot 41 Rounds of Golf as President

by Keith Koffler on July 16, 2010, 3:30 pm

President Barack Obama has played a remarkable 41 rounds of golf since becoming president, easily outpacing his predecessor and possibly damaging his ability to portray himself in 2012 as a populist advocate of average folks.

With the excursions lasting on average at least five hours, the president has devoted a total of more than 200 hours to golf, not counting time spent on the White House putting green. That’s the equivalent of twenty five eight-hour work days, or five work weeks spent smacking golf balls.

Obama and Golf

Plus, since "Google is my friend" I wanted to make sure Kenya has Veldts. THEY DO!!! Here is a review of Mogambo, a movie in 1953, which says:

The hunted returns with the hunter—or Miss Gardner brings back Mr. Gable's head. That is an observation that is meant to be taken two ways: Miss Gardner gets the best of the long-drawn bargain and she easily steals the show. As an international play girl who lands on a big-game hunter's ranch in the Kenya veld and systematically goes about the business of bagging this lordly human specimen as her man.

The review can be found here:

1953 Review of Mogambo

I have never seen this movie, or even heard of it, but it looks good. I am curious what this means in the review:

"Miss Gardner, as we say, is as enticing as any calculated vampire can be. One scene in which she plays cozy with a pigmy elephant might have been left out, in the interest of good taste."

This looks pretty interesting if it has Veldts, vampires, and pygmy elephants!!!

Soooo, once again, you can take the President out of the Veldt, but you can't take the Veldt out of a President.

Girl Reporter

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Baby Crocodile - A Squeeky Poem

Well, Their Mother's Think They're Cute!

 First, the sad story, then the poem.

" A STOWAWAY crocodile on a flight escaped from its carrier bag and sparked an onboard stampede that caused the flight to crash, killing 19 passengers and crew. The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag - allegedly with plans to sell it - but it tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic. A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The unbalanced load caused the aircraft, on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu, to go into a spin and crash into a house. A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators. Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage."

Just to keep things straight, in the airplane crash today, the poor little baby crocodile didn’t kill anybody. He was stolen from his home by people, and when he got loose, everybody JUST PANICKED and tipped the plane over into a house.

The little baby crocodile survived, then for some UNKNOWN STUPID REASON, the human beings just MURDERED HIM with a machete!!!! I guess nobody ever thought about how scared he was. Anyway, I wrote a poem so that everybody will remember the MURDER of this poor little innocent baby crocodile who never hurt anybody, so maybe this will never happen again!!!

The Baby Crocodile

Ripped from the waters of the River Nile.
They took the baby Crocodile.
They left his brothers there behind
To bask in the warm sunshine.

They stuffed him in a gunny sack
And threw him in the luggage rack.
There he lay, frightened and alone
Thinking only of his river home.

Until somebody had to sneak
A look inside to take a peek.
That is when he tumbled out,
Fell to the aisle, and ran about.

The people, they were scared and ran
This way and that without a plan.
They caused the plane to get lop-sided
With a house it then collided.

One person lived to tell the story.
The actions so retaliatory.
They found the little lost reptile,
Then they killed the Crocodile.

Girl Reporter

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Obama's First Grade Papers???

Today I received via email, what purports to be several of Obama's first grade papers. I have not verified the actual documents, but they look real to me.

First, "My First Howse" which appears to show a typical Kenyan dwelling. The "elyfant" also indicates this "howse" might be either in Kenya, or close to a zoo, in either Hawaii or Connectict:

Next, is a document which purports to be a poem by young Obama. The theme indicates an early childhood trauma involving a lion, which also lends credence to a Kenyan location:

Finally, there is a document which probably also echoes the early childhood warnings given in a location which has both mambas and cobras, such as KENYA!!!:

In this day of computer generated documents,it is difficult to determine whether these are REAL, or not. Sadly, that is the problem with PICTURES ON THE INTERNET!!! Like PICTURES of Birth Certificates.

If these documents are REAL, the Obama's poetic output will double. Both of these poems are better than his "amber spot" pome.

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Girl Reporter

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Anchor Baby - A REALLY GOOD Poem by Tim Burton !!!

There is a poem called "Anchor Baby" by Tim Burton that is in a book of poems by him called The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy. It is one of my FAVORITE books and you should buy it, or at least check it out at the library. It even has little pictures. It is SOOOO GOOOD!!!

Anchor Baby
by Tim Burton

Once was there a beautiful girl who came from the sea.
And there was just one place that she wanted to be.
With a man named Walker who played in a band.
She would leave the ocean and come onto the land.

He was the one that she wanted the most.
And she tried everything to capture this ghost.
But throughout all their lives they never connected.
She wandered the earth alone and rejected

She tried looking happy she tried looking tragic,
She tried astral projecting, sex, and black magic.
Nothing could join them, except maybe one thing, just maybe...
Something to anchor their spirits....They had a baby.

But to give birth to a baby they needed a crane.
The umbilical cord was in the form of a chain.
It was ugly and gloomy, and as hard as a kettle.
It had no pink skin, just heavy grey metal.

The baby that was meant to bring them together
Just shrouded them both in a cloud of foul weather.
So Walker took off to play with the band.
And from that day on, he stayed mainly on land.

And she was alone with her grey baby anchor,
Which got so oppressive that eventually sank her.
As she went to the bottom, not fulfilling her wish,
It was her and her baby ...and a few scattered fish.

Here is the book, and you can look inside:

Sooo, this is REALLY GOOD book of poems!!!

Girl Reporter

Monday, October 18, 2010

Gettin' Married - NOT!!!

Here is music video by Joanna Smith. I know JUST HOW SHE FEELS!!!

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Girl Reporter

How One Scientist Proved His ED Treatments Worked !!!

Weird Science???
Here is how one scientist proved his ED treatments worked:

The Professor wanted to make his case in the most convincing style possible. He indicated that, in his view, no normal person would find the experience of giving a lecture to a large audience to be erotically stimulating or erection-inducing. He had, he said, therefore injected himself with papaverine in his hotel room before coming to give the lecture, and deliberately wore loose clothes (hence the track-suit) to make it possible to exhibit the results. He stepped around the podium, and pulled his loose pants tight up around his genitalia in an attempt to demonstrate his erection.

At this point, I, and I believe everyone else in the room, was agog. I could scarcely believe what was occurring on stage. But Prof. Brindley was not satisfied. He looked down sceptically at his pants and shook his head with dismay. ‘Unfortunately, this doesn’t display the results clearly enough’. He then summarily dropped his trousers and shorts, revealing a long, thin, clearly erect penis. There was not a sound in the room. Everyone had stopped breathing.

But the mere public showing of his erection from the podium was not sufficient. He paused, and seemed to ponder his next move. The sense of drama in the room was palpable. He then said, with gravity, ‘I’d like to give some of the audience the opportunity to confirm the degree of tumescence’. With his pants at his knees, he waddled down the stairs, approaching (to their horror) the urologists and their partners in the front row. As he approached them, erection waggling before him, four or five of the women in the front rows threw their arms up in the air, seemingly in unison, and screamed loudly. The scientific merits of the presentation had been overwhelmed, for them, by the novel and unusual mode of demonstrating the results.

The screams seemed to shock Professor Brindley, who rapidly pulled up his trousers, returned to the podium, and terminated the lecture. The crowd dispersed in a state of flabbergasted disarray. I imagine that the urologists who attended with their partners had a lot of explaining to do. The rest is history. Prof Brindley's single-author paper reporting these results was published about 6 months later.

Here is the full story:

Ohhhh, what does BJU stand for??? Do I even want to know???

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Girl Reporter

Sunday, October 17, 2010

No Brainer - $10 Birth Certificate or $23,876 to Lock Up Lakin For A Year!

No Brainer - $10 Birth Certificate or $23,876 to Lock Up Lakin For A Year! (Duh!!!)

Squeeky Reports - YOU decide:

It costs $10 to get a bumpy Birth Certificate from Hawaii, NOT A PICTURE one. This could be put out in public pretty easily. Here is where you can check my numbers.

To lock up Lakin for JUST ONE YEAR will cost at least $23,876, maybe more.

Here is what it says and where it says that:

"It cost an average of $23,876 to imprison someone in 2005, the most recent year for which figures were available. But state spending varies widely, from $45,000 a year in Rhode Island to $13,000 in Louisiana."

So my question is, howcome Obama doesn't just get a few of these for public, or sign a power of attorney for Hawaii so any suspicious Common Sense Suspicious Birthers (Not the Vattle Birthers) can order one. SUPPOSEDLY, we have already seen what it looks like. There is no good reason not to do this.

Either he's from KENYA, or he thinks Americans are too stupid to believe the real thing, or he is trying to use people like us "crazy" Birthers to make him look smart. None of these are good things for a U.S. President to be.

Soooo, YOU DECIDE! After all, you have to help pay to lock Lakin up!

Girl Reporter

Friday, October 15, 2010

Music Videos - kHz! "Broken" and "Let it Go"

Raiana is one of my FAVORITE singers with an unbelievable rawness. She is with kHz, and I have been looking for "Broken" FOREVER!!!



Here is their website where you can find the lyrics and everything!!!


Girl Reporter

DOUBLE STANDARD!!! David Axelrod Confirms Birthers Right to be Suspicious

But it took TWO to Tango!!! (Hester Prinn)


David Axelrod Confirms Birthers Right to be Suspicious !!!

First, who is David Axelrod? Enquiring minds want to know. Sooo, I looked him up. David Axelrod is Senior Advisor to President Barack H. Obama. Prior to that, he served as Senior Advisor to the Obama-Biden Presidential Transition and Senior Strategist to Barack Obama's campaign for the presidency. In 2004, when President Obama was a member of the Illinois State Senate, Axelrod helped him defeat a primary field of six other Democrats and go on to a landslide win in his U.S. Senate campaign. Before entering politics in 1984, Axelrod spent eight years as a reporter for The Chicago Tribune, where he covered national, state, and local politics. In 1981, he became the youngest political writer and columnist in the paper's history. He also served as the Tribune's City Hall bureau chief.

Next, what did he say? Somebody named Jake Tapper was interviewing him and David Axelrod was mad because he thinks somebody is keeping stuff secret from him:

TAPPER: But what do you say to people who argue you are demonizing an organization for a charge that nobody knows if it's true or not?

AXELROD: Well I’m not demonizing the Chamber of Commerce. I’m simply suggesting to them that they disclose the source of the $75 million that they are spending in campaigns and put to rest, put to rest the questions that have been, that have been raised.

TAPPER: Isn't that like the whackjobs that tell the president he needs to show them his full long-form birth certificate so he can put to rest the questions that have been raised?

AXELROD: The president’s birth certificate has been available to people.

TAPPER: The long form? [Notice here how Axelrod ignores the question!!! - Squeeky]

AXELROD: Someone once in the course of this debate about whether we should have a law to force these organizations to disclose where they’re money is coming from in the campaigns, someone said, and I think they’re right – “the only people who want to keep things secret are folks who have something to hide.” If the Chamber doesn’t have anything to hide about these contributions, and I take them at their word that they don’t, then why not disclose? Why not let people see where their money is coming from?

This was also on gretawire yesterday, but I am linking the original thing so you can see what the linky thing is called: "what-are-you-hiding-that-you-dont-want-the-american-people-to-see"

Now did you get that??? When Axelrod has suspicions, about a "charge that nobody knows if it's true or not? or when "questions have been raised", Axelrod expects an answer so the suspicions or questions can be "put to rest."

So whycome is it, when over the half the country either thinks Obama is from KENYA, or is not sure where he is from, we don't get anything for over 810+ days from Obama???? Plus, notice how Axelrod skipped past anwering the "long form" question?

Oh wait, we did get a PICTURE of a Birth Certificate, back on July 13, 2008, but we all know for sure this question sure hasn't been put to rest. And all it takes is one little teeny weeny piece of paper.

Hmmmm, what was that Axelrod said??? Answer: "the only people who want to keep things secret are folks who have something to hide.”

I believe him.

Girl Reporter

Monday, October 11, 2010

The Heart Wants - A Paean To Pedro and Inez

The Coronation of Inez

Ohhh!, I just learned the story about Pedro and Inez of Portugal!!! First the story, then the poem:

In 1339, Crown Prince Pedro of Portugal, at the age of nineteen, was wed to Constance of Castile, then sixteen, the daughter of the cousin of the King of Castile. This marriage cemented an alliance between the two Iberian powers. King Afonso IV of Portugal, Pedro’s father, was pleased. 

But as always in love, things got complicated. Pedro married Constance, but did not fall in love with her: instead, he fell in love with one of her handmaidens, Inés Pérez de Castro. Their affair was no secret, and the two had four illegitimate children. The affair jeopardized Portugal’s relationship with Castile, and Afonso IV tried everything he could to split up his son and Inés, but nothing worked. When Constance died in 1349, Pedro refused to marry anyone but Inés, who was not considered worthy of being the future Queen of Portugal. 

Afonso IV got desperate, and in January, 1355 he sent three assassins after Inés at the Monastery of Santa Clara in Coimbra, where she was cut down in cold blood. Rather than settle the matter, however, Pedro, in a rage, rebelled against his father, dragging the country into civil war. Although the two did reconcile, Pedro never forgave his father. 

After he assumed the throne in 1357, Pedro announced that he had wed Inés in secret, and openly recognized their previously illegitimate children. He even ordered her body dug up so that the Portuguese nobles could swear loyalty to her. He managed to capture two of the three assassins his father had sent to kill her: according to legend, he ripped their hearts out with his bare hands. 

Pedro ordered that the body of his beloved be entombed in an ornate sarcophagus inside the elegant Monastery of Alcobaça. His own tomb is across from her, supposedly so that when they both rise for judgment day, the first thing they see will be each other. 

In addition to the operas, the story has been the inspiration for plays, at least two movies, books and more. This timeless love story is part of Portugal’s national heritage and references to it can be seen all throughout Portugal. 

The Story of Pedro and Inez 

And now, even a poem by Squeeky!!!

The Heart Wants
A Paean To Pedro and Inez

She sits now, upon the Throne
Royal rings rattle on bone.
A Macabre Kiss of Fealty
Testifies to Reality.
The Heart wants what the Heart wants.

Truly affirms, the Law of Kings
Cannot compel all things.
Cannot command the Tide or Sea
Nor banish love by Royal Decree.
The Heart wants what the Heart wants.

Swears not the Grave, nor even Death
Can extinguish Love’s Breath.
Confirms by Rite of Genuflection,
Love’s eternal Resurrection.
The Heart wants what the Heart wants.

Girl Reporter

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Monkey On a Wire & Rattlin' Bones - Music Videos

Here are two music videos by Kasey Chambers and Shane Nicholson called "Monkey on a Wire" and "Rattlin' Bones." The words to both songs are just sooo poetic! Plus, I really like the music, the artwork, and the cute little monkeys. Our souls shouldn't be for sale!

I know everybody will love both of them!!!

Girl Reporter

Friday, October 8, 2010

Sherlock Holmes Proves Obama Is a Kenyan !!!

Aha! We Took It For "Granite", But It's Kenyan Black Marble!
Sherlock Holmes Proves Obama is a Kenyan!!!

The famous Sherlock Holmes said:

“We must fall back upon the old axiom that when all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

There are four basic possible reasons why Obama hasn’t coughed up his bumpy Birth Certificate for the public:

1. He’s a Kenyan.

2. He’s very, very stupid.

3. He thinks Americans are sooo stupid they wouldn’t believe it.

4. He gets a political advantage from all the “crazy” birthers.

Let’s take No. 2. Is he very, very stupid? No, he has been to Harvard Law School and everybody says he’s the smartest president we have ever had. Even I don’t really question his brains, although I do use “stupid” as an adjective a lot.

Let’s look at number 3: that it wouldn’t convince anybody because Americans are soooo stupid. . First, how would he know since he  hasn’t tried it. He has not ever put his bumpy Birth Certificate or even his Long Form out in public for everybody. One group gets it. Some lady nobody knows in Hawaii just swears it is real. But all you really have is a picture on the Internet. OBOTS  admit that in COURT, all it would take is a tangible certified copy of the birth certificate, to prove he was born in Hawaii or Connecticut.  Nothing else, just that one piece of paper. Yet they fail to explain how if you move that one  piece of paper from inside the courthouse, 200 feet to the outside world, what it is that transforms it into nothingness. Plus what would it hurt??? Is somebody NOT going to vote for him if he proves he is an American???

Sorry, but Number 3's a bust.

Now, lets take Number 4: Is he getting a political advantage? No. The Birthers are tearing him to pieces. At present, about 25% of voters think he is a Kenyan. Another 20% aren’t sure where he’s from.  Chris Matthews says it is over half, and now a majority of Americans.

Why the Birther Movement Refuses to Die

Plus us Birthers are causing problems on every issue. Read what the OBOTS say about us at that cite:

“The birthers are a bunch of wacky, paranoid, Obama-haters crudely cloaking themselves in the mantle of public spirited citizens and legal experts with no personal, political, let alone racial, ax to grind with Obama. Their sole goal they claimed was to insure electoral truth and accuracy, to make sure that all the legal requirements for holding a presidential office are met, and to head off a constitutional crisis. They even promised that they would put the matter to rest if Obama simply produced the original document. But, there’s a canny, calculated, and politically cynical motive behind their Obama birth certificate agitation. The real value of the birther movement is that it’s an orchestrated back door movement to destabilize, or at the least keep the Obama administration off balance on policy initiatives he’s pushing on health care, the economy, and a softer foreign policy outreach. They are fierce opponents of these initiatives.”

Sooo, Number 4 doesn’t work.

Sooo, I have eliminated 2 and 3 and 4 and as Sherlock Holmes says so LOGICALLY:

“when all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”

All that left is No. 1. Obama is a Kenyan.

OH! I bet it sucks being an OBOT right now!!!!

But as someone pointed out, you could start anywhere in the list, and end up with the answer you wanted. Hmmmm. Let me think about that....

OKAY, so what if me and Sherlock Holmes are wrong? That would mean Obama is one of these:

2.  Very, very stupid.
3.   Somebody who thinks American’s are very Stupid.
4.   Somebody who messes up real bad and makes very bad decisions, and won’t change his mind.

So which one of these three “virtues” makes him a good president?  NONE!!!


Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Girl Reporter

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Obama and The Newspaper Boy

Any Way You Slice It. . .

Obama and the Newspaper Boy
by Squeeky

Once upon a time, there was a man named Obama, who owned a Baloney sandwich restaurant, The House of Baloney. He served the very best Baloney sandwiches, made from the very finest Baloney, imported all the way from Hawaii, or Connecticut, and maybe even Kenya. People came from far and wide to get his Baloney. They would say, “Ohhh, but this is such Good Baloney!” They were so fanatic, people even started calling them “O-buts.”

Then one day, a little newspaper boy bought some baloney sandwiches, and when he got home, he discovered his change was $2.00 short! So he went back to Obama and he said, “I want my $2.00, please.”Obama said, “Get lost kid, you bother me!”

Undeterred, the newspaper boy sat outside the House of Baloney with a sign that said, “ I want my $2.00.” He sat there in the rain and the sleet and the snow, for months. At first, everyone thought the newspaper boy was just crazy. Obama swore he had given him the proper change. He put a PICTURE of the cash register tape and deposit slip on the Internet. He even had people swear it was a true picture.

But, as time went on, people began to get suspicious of Obama. Why was he letting this poor little newspaper boy, who might indeed be crazy, just sit out there in the rain, with his poor little sign, exposed to the elements, and sad. And what if, just what if, Obama had kept the $2.00 and not deposited it in the bank. People started not going to the House of Baloney.

The O-buts defended Obama. “It’s his restaurant”, they said. “He doesn’t have to legally give the kid the $2.00 if he doesn’t want to.” That was true enough, but by this time, Obama had already lost 25% of his sales. Some people said, “Just give the kid his $2.00 and quit being a jerk!” “No!” said the O-buts. “This kid is so crazy, that even if you give him the $2.00, he won’t go away!”

So it went on for over two years. People now began to wonder, “Was there really something wrong with Obama?” Because he had lost a lot more in business than the $2.00. They reasoned that even if he didn’t owe it,  something fishy was going on, because there really was no good reason for a sane businessman not to just cough up the two bucks, and move on.

But still the newspaper boy sits there, with his ragged, little homemade sign, the “I want my $2.00″ smeared by rain, and running like two day old mascara,  and the cardboard all wrinkly and fraying at the edges. Inside, Obama sits, twidding his thumbs, and hoping business will pick up.

Girl Reporter

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Famous Dead French Artist Supports Birther Position !!!

A famous dead French artist named Rene Magritte spoke from beyond the grave to endorse the Birther philosophy that you just cannot trust PICTURES! He had a painting call the Treachery of Images which shows a pipe with the French words "ceci n'est pas une pipe." This means "this is not a pipe" in American.

As Rene Magritte said:

"The famous pipe. How people reproached me for it! And yet, could you stuff my pipe? No, it's just a representation, is it not? So if I had written on my picture "This is a pipe," I'd have been lying!"

The Treachery of Images

What Magritte was saying is, this is only a picture of a pipe. It's NOT the pipe itself. This supports the Birther position that the internet copy of Obama's birth certificate, is just that, a representation, or a picture, of the actual document, NOT the document itself. That is why we keep hollering, "Show us the Birth Certificate!!!"

Sooo, the next time an OBOT tells you to look at the Internet and you can see the Birth Certificate, just say to them:

ceci n'est pas une birth certificate!

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Girl Reporter

22 Alternative Reasons Why Obama Won't Cough It Up!

1 Chance In 22 of Picking The Right Answer
I have been trying to think of all the possible reasons why Obama would not release his Long Form Birth Certificate, or even a real COLB. I have come up with 22 possible theories, so far. If you can think of others. Please let me know!

Again, for the cost of about two Happy Meals, Obama could have put an original certified Certificate of Live Birth into a Court Record, and put an end to this whole mess over two years ago. Soooo, I'm trying to think like Obama, here:

1. I’m a Kenyan usurper.
2. I’m very stupid.
3. Screw them, I don’t like voters!
4. It shows my real middle name is actually "Heidi."
5. Some people won't vote for me if they think I am an American.
6. I want everybody to think the other side is crazy.
7. I'm narcissistic and crave attention!
8. Confused voters make elections more interesting!
9.  Bo, my dog, ate it.
10. I am trying to save the Rain Forest, by using less paper.
11. I am keeping my options open.
12. It shows I have a birthmark shaped like "666.'
13. I hate the Democratic Party and want it to lose!
14. I am very passive-aggressive.
15. The people in Hawaii misplaced it and asked me to "buy them some time."
16. I like lawyers and love paying legal fees.
17. It gives me an aura of mystery.
18. I am under a magic spell and I can't do it.
19. I just keep forgetting to do it.
20. I want to see how long it will take for even the OBOTS to get suspicious.
21. It will show I was really born in Wasilla Alaska.
22. I don’t want to be president any more!

Outside of Reason No. 1, none of them seems reason enough to drag this whole mess out for over two years. So, unless Obama really is a Kenyan Usurper, he ought to just cough it up and end all this stupid stuff. I'll loan him the $15 or so, if he needs it.

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Girl Reporter

(PS: it was just 20, then I thought of 2 more, so now it's 22! Tee Hee!- Squeeky)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Words of the Prophets by Belladonna

My friend, Belladonna, asked me to put her poem up here. She does not have her own website. I am a poet too, sometimes, but I don't understand this one. She says "If you don't get it, you don't get it." Well, I guess that's me. If anybody does get it, please leave me a comment. Thank you! Squeeky, Girl Reporter

The Words of the Prophets
by Belladonna

The Subway Walls fell.
Time-ravished and Forsaken.
Their Words ground from Ashes
Tattooed now, on my knuckles
In Black Ink.

Clawed across my back
With Green Angel Wings.
Painted between my thighs
In Magenta, Tear Drops
Foretelling Abandoned Hope.

Penned to my breasts, Orange Julia
Forever Tempts Heliconius Sappho,
While arms, in the forms of Dragons,
Contest the Gothic Cross
And a Dark Solitary Abomination.

The Words of the Prophets.
Carved now upon my Self.
Consecrated in Oil,
Blessed by Razors,
And Wed with a Barbed Wire Ring.


A Desperate Obot Attempts To Short Circuit A Voting Machine

I have just spent a few days at an OBOT place, fighting with OBOTS. Some were mean and called me stupid, but I called them names right back, so it was fun for all of us, I think. A very nice person, Dr. Conspiracy runs the place, and I learned a lot from him about the OBOT mindset. I hope he learned something from me. Anyway, they poke fun at us BIRFERS, so I am poking fun right back at them. All in all, I kinda liked the people there and they each seem to have their own personalities. I hope you like this:


It was sheer disaster today when several very well known OBOTS discovered that Birthers can indeed vote in American elections. We here at KNUT AM Radio, reached several of them for comments at Bellview Psychology Hospital:

Dr. Bob “Noisewater” Ross: Who woulda ever thought it??? They can’t even SPELL words right! America is doomed. And 296 is not almost 300! Period. Quit trying to correct me!!

Misha: What? There is no “chic” among them! They can’t tell cats from dogs. They are all overweight and screech a whole lot! Why do they get a vote just like me???

Anotherbird: Elections? I didn’t even think we had elections anymore. What an antiquated idea. I thought we did everything in Court. We aren’t admissible here are we?

Ellid: Yeah, what she said!!!

Scientist: Well statistically speaking, we should not be here in this institution because there is only a 4% chance that we can be cured.

Futtheshuckup: Breeefruuuum fribbittttt drubbbbbllle.

Daniel: But they are just soooo STUPID! How can they even find the voting booths???

Dr. Conspiracy: Squeeky Fromm, Squeeky Fromm, why didn’t I listen to Squeeky Fromm????

We were able to reach a Miss Squeeky Fromm, a unknown Birther, who revealed:

Squeeky: Oh, yes Mr. Sanchez, I tried to tell them this. I just warned them over and over, even the grunty little malesbeasts, and they just wouldn’t listen. But I, and several other Birthers will help take care of them now. I will read poetry to them and fix them Squeeky’s Chicken Spinache, which I wrote an INTERNET ARTICLE about on my website.

Then, at night, Dr. Orly Taitz will come by and teach them all about American law. And pull teeth.

This is Rick Sanchez, signing off for KNUT AM Radio.

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Girl Reporter

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Logical Phallacy - A Squeeky Poem

I hope you like this. It is a poem that I wrote about OVER-THINKING something and JUST MISSING THE WHOLE POINT!!! If you do, it can lead to a:

Logical Phallacy

Bob was a boy
As smart as could be.
And he loved a young girl
By the name of Marie.

He started to court her.
Relied on his mind.
And trusted his money
He thought love was blind.

The way that he saw it,
He thought that Marie
Would calculate profits.
Decide logically.

He said he could buy her
The richest of gowns,
The biggest of houses,
His finances sound.

Bob had it figured out
Think of his woe
When Marie hit the road
With a biker named Joe.

Girl Reporter

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Ghost of a Texas Ladies Man

This is one of my favorite songs by Concrete Blonde. I like to think he is a Ghost because he fooled around just one time too many on a Texas girl!!! (LOL!!!)

Hi SluggoJD!!!

I hope you enjoy it!!!

Girl Reporter