Girl Reporter

Girl Reporter

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Little Obot Who Cried "Racists!!!"

The Little Obot Who Cried "Racists!"

The Little Obot Who Cried “Racists!!!
(Based on a story by Aesop)

Once upon a time, there was a Little Obot, sitting alone on the side of a hill. His self esteem needed a boost. So he cried out in a very large voice, “Racists! Racists! The Racists aren’t voting for Obama!”

The other Obotski came charging up the hill, yelling “Racists!” “Racists!” at the top of their voices, too!  But when they arrived, they found no Racists. Just members of PUMA, who were sore about Hillary Clinton not getting the nomination. The other Obots left.  But, the Little Obot felt good about himself, and sooo important.

Later, the bored Little Obot yelled once more, “Racists!  Racists! The Racists are complaining about Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize!!!”

Once again, the other Obotski came running to help,  screaming “Racists! Racists!” as they mobbed their way to the top of the hill. But when they arrived, they found no Racists. Just anti-war Liberals who were upset that Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize after escalating a war. The other Obots left. The Little Obot had a warm and fuzzy feeling all over.

The Feeling of Responsibility Is Decreased When One Is Part of a Group (Jung)
Later, after the sun went down, the Little Obot tried again. Loudly he roared   “Racists! Racists!  “The Racists are accusing Obama of extending the Bush Tax Cuts!!!”

The other Obotski came rushing up the hill, holding pitchforks and torches, yelling “Racists!” “Racists!” in harmony with the Little Obot.  But when they arrived, they discovered that it was only Democrats and Progressives, like themselves, who were upset about the Bush Tax Cut extension.  Thoroughly embarrassed, the other Obotski turned to go.

Now, at this point, the Little Obot, whose Adrenalin Rush was being under-stimulated by the patient understanding exhibited by the other Obotski, was confused. Sooo, he asked the other Obots, “Three times I have brought you up here yelling “Racists!”, and three times there weren’t any Racists. Are you not just a little bit peeved with me???”
Old Yeller Was The Epitome of Obot Patience
One of the Elder Obots, Old Yeller,  answered. “Of course not. All of us Obots holler “Racists!” every chance we get. At everything  that moves. We are hardly ever right, but “Hey, we’re Obots. It’s what we do!!!

And they all lived happily, if noisily, ever after.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Sunday, April 24, 2011

My President, the CAR??? (Or, Show Me the BIRTHFAX!!!)

Probably Made in America???

My President, The Car??? (Or, Show me the BIRTHFAX !!!)

Way back in the olden days there was a TV show called “My Mother the Car.” Wiki says, “My Mother the Car is an American fantasy sitcom which aired for a single season on NBC between September 14, 1965 and September 6, 1966. A total of thirty episodes were produced by United Artists Television.

Critics and adult viewers generally panned the show, often savagely. In 2002, TV Guide proclaimed it to be the second-worst of all time, just behind The Jerry Springer Show. In 2010 The O’Reilly Factor recorded its viewers as listing it as the worst show of all time.

Sooo, maybe if think of Obama as a CAR, then the whole Birther Question would make more sense. Because it is like the CARFAX commercials where somebody asks for the CARFAX, and keeps getting the run around from the used car salesmen. (I’ve got something BETTER than CARFAX!!! I have a NOTE from the previous Owner!!! “This car runs great. I promise.”)

Because isn’t this simply what we keep running into from Obama and the Obotski???

I’ve got something better than BIRTHFAX! – I have a PICTURE of the short form!!! (With no verifiable information. Show me the BIRTHFAX.)

I’ve got something better than BIRTHFAX! – I have TWO, count ‘em TWO, Birth Announcements in Hawaii Newspapers!!! (That DON’T say WHERE Obama was born. They just say he was born, and provide his grandparent’s address in Hawaii. What, was he born at their house or something??? Just show me the BIRTHFAX.)

I’ve got something better than BIRTHFAX! – I have a NOTE from some lady in Hawaii who swears she seen it!!! (Great! She says it exists. Sooo, can we see the BIRTHFAX now???)

But, NOBODY can see a BIRTHFAX anymore. It’s Against The Law!!! (What, the President and his good friend, the Governor of Hawaii, are going to go to jail for coughing up the BIRTHFAX??? C’mon! I wasn’t born yesterday. Show me the BIRTHFAX.)

But, some people are happy with the short form and don’t want to see the BIRTHFAX!!! (Good for them! But, I’m not. Show me the BIRTHFAX.)

But, it’s on this Index of Live Birth thing!!! (Good. That means there is an original entry of something somewhere. Show me the BIRTHFAX.)

But, all the SMART people think you’re crazy!!! (I don’t care. Show me the BIRTHFAX.)

And finally, we have the BIG GUN:

But, if you want to see the BIRTHFAX, you’re a RACIST!!! (WTF??? That’s stupid! Show me the BIRTHFAX.)

This is pretty much the situation. And there really are similarities between the TV show, and Obama.  He really is the worst president of all time. Let us hope My President, the Car is not renewed for a second season.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Stopping By Fund Raiser On A Snowy Evening

There's NO Business Like SNOW Business

Stopping By Fund Raiser On A Snowy Evening
by Squeeky Fromm

The campaign trail is mighty fine,
Milwaukee Perch and fancy wine.
And luckily these Democrats
Will blindly tow the party line.

There are a few aristocrats,
And radical Left Wing moonbats,
Ex-Weathermen, too old to “Boom!”
All seeking jobs as autocrats.

In short, it is my kind of room
Where people fear the Right Wing broom
Next year the Senate too, will sweep.
Unless my fortunes starts to zoom.

Some people wonder how I sleep.
Ten Grand a plate is pretty steep!
For promises I will not keep.
For promises I will not keep.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Which Came First – The Hookers Or The Johns??? Economics Through The Lens Of Prostitution!!!

Use Of Satyre As A Tool

Which Came First – The Hookers Or The Johns??? Economics Through The Lens Of Prostitution!!!

This question is easier to answer than the famous Chicken and Egg problem first described by Aristotle.  Framing the question in terms of Prostitution gets rid of all the messy  micro-biological and evolutionary distractions related to chicken embryology.

Whither, the world’s oldest profession???   Is this a Trick Question??? Where do we apply the Stimulus??? Both parties are necessary.  Remove either party from the equation and there is no Prostitution. Remove the Hooker, and there is no supply. Remove the Johns, and there is no demand.  But in these days of Tight Resource Allocation, we must carefully select the best way to channel our efforts.

Republicans and  Libertarians, with their love of Supply Side Economics, would argue that Hookers stimulate demand, and that If you supply it, they will come. Simply free up the producers to produce, and the demand will be there. And not just be there, but be there pulsing, throbbing, and waiting for that supply to just EXPLODE.

This is turn leads to all the catering to the moneyed classes. It isn’t simply a vote-buying kind of Careless Love, like the Democrats do on the Down-Low. No.  This is the  deep  “I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him… ” kind of Love.  No trade barriers, no regulations, just on laisse faire la nature (“let nature run its course” – Boisguillebert.)

Progressives,  however, think that demand is the driving force.  And that demand requires the financial wherewithal to pay for that which is demanded. This is why Progressive agendas focus on infrastructure expenditures, deficit spending,  bringing jobs back to America, and making sure American jobs pay a decent and livable wage. Without demand, from the bottom up, Hookers aren’t even able to have a “Going Out Of Business Sale!!!” (And, OH I am sooo resisting the temptation to wonder at the possible advertisements and television commercials , such as— “Prices so low, we should have our head examined!!!” )

All in all, the Progressive argument seems more persuasive.  Because the underlying demand for satisfaction can be slaked in many ways.  Some, for FREE!  For example, Marriage, One Night Stands, Cold Showers, Friends With Benefits Arrangements, Prayer, Third Rate Romance, Low Rent Rendevouz, or Alimony, can all serve to allay Lust And, what I call the “Onan the Librarian” approach. (A Dirty Book, a Jug of Lotion(Male), [or a Loaf of a Ithyphallos (Female)] and WOW!)

To go beyond those options, and to pay for it,  is a move up to or beyond Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. In fact, Prostitution directly conflicts with the 3rd and 4th level Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness and Needs for Esteem, respectively.

Of course, one can not examine this issue without considering PRICE. Fortunately, this Girl Reporter can rely on the work of others. From the TuftsObserver, Muddy Drawers: Sexonomic,  citing Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner’s book Superfreakonomics:
Superfreakonomics concentrates on the sex trade in the modern United States, more specifically on what the authors dub the “declining salary of prostitutes.” According to the authors, even the lowest-rent prostitutes in the 1910s made what amounts to $25,000 a year in today’s dollars, and women working at the most expensive brothels made over $430,000. Much has changed over the past century, and the average wage of prostitutes today “pales in comparison to the one enjoyed by even the low-rent prostitutes from a hundred years ago.” The book tells the story of a low-rent prostitute today, “LaSheena,” who makes about $350 a week working the streets in Chicago. This, according to the authors, is typical pay for prostitutes in America today.

Why the sharp decrease in salaries of prostitutes? Levitt, a professor of economics at the University of Chicago, attributes this steep decline to a fall in demand. So why has the demand for prostitutes fallen? Are men today less horny than they were a hundred years ago? Probably not. Instead, Levitt attributes this decrease to something else: competition. It is no secret that sexual norms have evolved substantially, especially in the last couple of decades. The Women’s Liberation movement of the 1960s and the proliferation of contraceptive methods during the 1970s (especially the condom and the birth control pill) led to the “sexual revolution” of the United States. The sexual revolution was a period of loosening sexual norms and increasing sexual liberation. What does all of this have to do with prostitutes? When there are less stringent social norms, women are more likely to have sex before marriage. And when more women are having sex before marriage, men are less likely to seek out prostitutes. As Levitt puts it: “Who poses the greatest competition to a prostitute? Simple: any woman who is willing to have sex for free.”

So, Demand wins. Of course, I remember what my Mother told me very  early on,  “Men won’t buy a cow if they can get the milk for free. ” What she forgot to tell me  was,  “No matter how large the Supply of Cows."

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Rejoyce James! Ulysses Lives!!! (And Battles The One-Eyed Monster)

Ulysses Restrained From The Song Of The Sirens

Some Spam made it through the filters on a Forum I visit a lot. It was titled Singles USA For Japanese . Well, I did watch the Matrix Movies sooo I decided to read it and make sure Morpheus wasn’t trying to contact me. He wasn’t, or if he was, I wasn’t having any part of that!!!  (A screensave of the Spam is below.) But some of the phrases caught my eye, like personalized melted wine bottle.  Sooo,  I wrote a poem!!!

Rejoyce James! Ulysses Lives!!!
(And Battles the One Eyed Monster)

by Squeeky Fromm

Tie your Mother down for she must listen
To a Sermon on Relationships.
Overhead an unusual yellow tinted Sun
Draws close Kimonos of Eclipse.

Double Dark now, taking two hits
From loss of Sun and reflected Light.
One Hundred Proof is only Half
As Ulysses stumbles into the Night

Personalized melted Wine Bottles
Droop and sag over tables, surreal.
Gathering Singles offer Sacrifice
While Japanese turn, and sprawl at the Window Sill.

Now from Left Field comes a Single Canoe.
Flirts its way into mossy spring Bank.
And while others round Home Base,
They will never The Batter thank.

Se7en is the Magic Number.
As the Author strategized Policies.
Yet,  the Patient seems to shutdown.
Plans to drain the Skies and Seas

Can you wash your single Unit?
And with a single Handle, Shower?
And rationalize your Personality Profile?
Or surrender to an Enemy Power???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Here is a Screen Save of the Spam. If you click on it, it gets bigger and easier to read:

A Portrait Of The Artist As A Girl Reporter

Friday, April 15, 2011

Please Admit That You Don't Like Obama 'Cause He's Black

Preparing to Respond

Oh, my BFF Fabia Sheen, who is an Attorney, told me about these legal things called Requests for Admissions, where one side in a lawsuit gets to ask the other side to Admit or Deny something so that the process can move along faster. Sooo, since I write poetry and she writes all this legal stuff, we wrote the following like it was from the Obotski, who are just convinced that the ONLY reason people don’t like Obama is because he is Black and we are just a bunch of racists. OH, do we ever get them back!!! Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

The Obotski Request Admissions Of Racism

by Squeeky Fromm
[Represented and Assisted by her BFF, Fabia Sheen, Esq.]

Unemployment? Ten Percent.
Each Day more get the Sack.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Foreclosuregate? White Collar Fraud?
The Bank now owns your Shack.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Obamacare? Insurance Hikes
Induce a Cardiac.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

The Deficit? Each Day it grows.
An Exponential Track!
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Inflation, DUH? You can’t afford
A Real Meal, just a snack.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

He stole the Nomination,
Like a kleptomaniac.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ’cause he’s Black.

Three Wars, so far. We try to guess
The next Place He’ll attack.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Illegal Folk, from Mexico
Cross Borders in a Pack.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Certificates of Birth, Long Form.
There seems to be a lack???
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Gasoline? You’ll never get
To be a Jack Kerouac.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Transparency? He promised it.
In secret, got a Plaque!
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

MY GOD! The Whole Economy
And Country out of Whack!!!
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Hope and Change and Yes We Can
Got coated with Shellac.
But Please Admit that you don’t like
Obama ‘cause he’s Black.

Now Comes, the Defendant, Who,
Admits to just one FACT.
That She DON’T Like Obama.
But it AIN’T because he's Black.
see: Supra.

Respectfully Submitted,
/Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter
Approved as to Form:
/Fabia Sheen, Esq.

NOTES: Fabia Sheen says “Supra” means “Used in academic or legal texts to refer to someone or something mentioned above or earlier.” So its telling the Obotski to look above for the reasons I don’t like Obama.

Plus, wiki says Jack Kerouac wrote a novel called “On the Road” in April 1951, and published by Viking Press in 1957. It is a largely autobiographical work that was based on the spontaneous road trips of Kerouac and his friends across mid-century America. Sooo, like with the price of gas being $4.00+, nobody is going toodling around Route 66 today.

Plus, too, I wanted to add this verse, But Fabia said it was un-professional:

Sooo, if you think that we don't like
Obama 'cause he's Black
After reading all of this,
You must be smoking CRACK!!!

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bring Royalty Back to America!!!

The Top One Percent

Here is another idea how we might fix things in America. It seems that even after an American Revolution where we told royalty where to shove it, there are a lot of Americans who just WORSHIP rich people and think we would all be lost without them. Soooo, maybe this really good idea of mine will help everybody else to see this for what it is, AND, the rich people and their WORSHIPPERS could feel good too!

Why don’t we BRING ROYALTY BACK TO AMERICA!!! What we could do is just hand out the titles by the income amount that is taxed in America. That way, when the regular people want to fuss about the rich people, they will know who to fuss at the most, and the people who WORSHIP the rich, can give more homage to the higher ranking rich people!!!

Here is my idea:

Knight – Over $250,000 to $300,000 per year.
Baronet- $ 300,001 – $ 400,000 per year.
Baron- $ 400,001 – $ 1,000,000 per year.
Viscount- $ 1,000,001 – $ 10,000,000 per year
Earl- $ 10,000,001 – $ 100,000,000 per year
Marquis- $ 100,000,001 -$ 1 Billion
Duke-$ 1 Billion and $1 up

I think this would solve a lot of problems, plus when we need to raise taxes, the poor people who WORSHIP the rich, will not just go into hysterics as much. And this way, you could raise taxes BY TITLE!!! Soooo, like you could have a VISCOUNT Tax Increase to raise up their taxes, without affecting the Barons and below. Or a Duke Tax increase to raise their taxes, but not those royalties below!!!

Plus, it will give everybody who thinks they are better than everybody else something to shoot for! If they are only making $150,000 per year and have some of their money working overseas, then if they bring that back to America, it might raise them up to $250,000 where they can be a KNIGHT!!! Sir Whatever.

Once they have a ROYAL TITLE, maybe the rich won’t be soooo insecure anymore. And tax increases can be seen as a form of status symbol!!! I think this is a really good idea!!! What do you think???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Skip A Grope - A Parody Song by Squeeky Fromm

Europe After The Rain by Max Ernst

After the stories of the little 6 year old girl getting groped, I finished this parody I started last fall.

Skip a Grope
A Parody Song by Squeeky Fromm

Skip a Grope. Skip a Grope.

Use Greyhound Buses or  mini vans
Keep yourself away from the naughty hands.

Skip a Grope.

Well this beats all that you ever seen.
Standing in front of a big machine
Snapping your picture without a care
You’re as nekkid as a jay bird standing there!

Skip a Grope. Skip a Grope.

Oh, it’s thrown away, but what’juh bet?
Not too long, it’s on the Internet.

Skip a Grope.

You don’t like this? Then go stand in line.
And let some creep fondle your behind.
They feel between your legs as they grope your breasts.
And a Ten Grand fine, so you can’t protest.

Skip a Grope. Skip a Grope.

So listen to the people what they say
It ain’t very funny ‘bout the T S A

Skip a Grope.

Now all us voters are who's to blame.
We ain't put a stop to this stupid game.

Skip a Grope. Skip a Grope.

So listen to the people what they say
No, it ain’t very funny ‘bout the T S A

Skip a Grope. Skip a Grope. fade out

For the guitar players, here are some tabs I found online. It is a easy song to play.

by George Jones  written by Jack Moran and Glenn Tubb

C                   G7    
Skip a Rope  Skip a Rope
   C                                 Am    
Oh listen to the children while they play
    C                             Am           
Now ain't it kinda funny what the children say
Skip a Rope

Daddy hates Mommy  Mommy hates Dad
C                                 Am              
Last night you should'a heard the fight they had
C                              Am     
Gave little sister another bad dream
C                           Am              
She woke us all up with a terrible scream

C                              Am    
Cheat on your taxes don't be a fool
    C                               Am           
Now what was that they said about a Golden Rule
C                                Am   
Never mind the rule just play to win
    C                          Am                
And hate your neighbor for the shade of his skin

C                                           Am    
Stab 'em in the back that's the name of the game
    C                   Am              
And Mommy and Daddy are who's to blame
       C            G7   
Skip a Rope  Skip a Rope
     C                                  Am    
Just listen to your children while they play
            C                                Am
It's really not very funny what the children say
       C     Am     C     Am     C     
Skip a Rope  Skip a Rope  Skip a Rope
Am     C   
Skip a Rope

AND, here is the youtube:

AND, here is a link to the story that got me motivated to finishing this:

I hope everybody enjoys this!!!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

A Hint of Death

The Autumn Wind by Qianyu - For More of Her Beautiful Work, Go to Http://

A Hint of Death
by Squeeky Fromm

Sometimes in August, the Summer’s Breath
Blows from the North, with a hint of Death.
Something cold, for just a moment
Spills the Truth, lets slip the Secret.

Whispering to you so indistinct,
So brief, you shudder. No time to think.
Blowing around you, then is gone.
Nothing quite to put your finger on.

Yet somehow, the Summer play
Can not continue the same way.
The ending of the Story told,
Too soon the warmth will turn to cold.
Too soon the young will turn to old.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter