The Loser Song by Squeeky Fromm

Here is a song I wrote for the people who are going to lose Tuesday! I wonder who they are going to be???? (LOL!!!)

The Loser Song

I only know two chords, A minor and C, so that is why this is simple. It is written "non - partisan" so anybody can use it forever!!!

Squeeky
Girl Reporter

Obama and Golfing - Is It A Subconcious Return to the Kenyan Veldt?

Non-Burrowing Animals on the 13th Hole

 Many people have commented on the amount of golfing done by Obama. I think it is a attempt by Obama to return to the open grasslands of the Kenya he grew up in. Soooo, just what is a "Veldt"??? Wiki says:

The term Veld (sometimes Veldt) refers primarily (but not exclusively) to the wide open rural spaces of South Africa or southern Africa and in particular to certain flatter areas or districts covered in grass or low scrub. The word veld comes from the Afrikaans (ultimately from Dutch), literally meaning 'field'.

However, this simple translation does not convey the subtleties of the many idiomatic nuances of the term. Veld can be compared to the Australian terms "outback" or "bush," to "the prairie" of North America, or to the "pampas" of South America but the comparisons are not exact. A Yorkshireman might equate "wandering across the moors" to "walking through the veld."


By extension, the veld can be compared to 'the boondocks' or those places 'beyond the black stump' in Australia. There is a sense in which it refers in essence to unimproved land (and is therefore not the equivalent of the English "paddock") but in other senses the veld can include areas used both for pastoral activities and the planting of crops. The word is less appropriate for land that is heavily forested, mountainous, or urban. (On the other hand, a carefully-husbanded sports field on which the game of Rugby is played in the middle of cities such as Cape Town or Johannesburg is referred to as a "rugbyveld").

Whereas mountainous peaks and forests are not really welcome on the veld, bushes are acceptable. The area then becomes "bosveld." There are minor examples of bosveld here and there but the term is used mainly to describe Die Bosveld ("The Bushveld"), which is both a loose botanical classification and a specific geographical part of what used to be known as the Transvaal (see, for example, Jock of the Bushveld).

Now, does this describe a golf course or does it not??? And as Keith Koffler says:

Obama Has Shot 41 Rounds of Golf as President

by Keith Koffler on July 16, 2010, 3:30 pm

President Barack Obama has played a remarkable 41 rounds of golf since becoming president, easily outpacing his predecessor and possibly damaging his ability to portray himself in 2012 as a populist advocate of average folks.

With the excursions lasting on average at least five hours, the president has devoted a total of more than 200 hours to golf, not counting time spent on the White House putting green. That’s the equivalent of twenty five eight-hour work days, or five work weeks spent smacking golf balls.

Obama and Golf

Plus, since "Google is my friend" I wanted to make sure Kenya has Veldts. THEY DO!!! Here is a review of Mogambo, a movie in 1953, which says:

The hunted returns with the hunter—or Miss Gardner brings back Mr. Gable's head. That is an observation that is meant to be taken two ways: Miss Gardner gets the best of the long-drawn bargain and she easily steals the show. As an international play girl who lands on a big-game hunter's ranch in the Kenya veld and systematically goes about the business of bagging this lordly human specimen as her man.

The review can be found here:

1953 Review of Mogambo

I have never seen this movie, or even heard of it, but it looks good. I am curious what this means in the review:

"Miss Gardner, as we say, is as enticing as any calculated vampire can be. One scene in which she plays cozy with a pigmy elephant might have been left out, in the interest of good taste."

This looks pretty interesting if it has Veldts, vampires, and pygmy elephants!!!

Soooo, once again, you can take the President out of the Veldt, but you can't take the Veldt out of a President.

Squeeky
Girl Reporter

The Baby Crocodile - A Squeeky Poem

Well, Their Mother's Think They're Cute!

 First, the sad story, then the poem.

" A STOWAWAY crocodile on a flight escaped from its carrier bag and sparked an onboard stampede that caused the flight to crash, killing 19 passengers and crew. The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag - allegedly with plans to sell it - but it tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic. A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The unbalanced load caused the aircraft, on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu, to go into a spin and crash into a house. A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators. Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage."

Just to keep things straight, in the airplane crash today, the poor little baby crocodile didn’t kill anybody. He was stolen from his home by people, and when he got loose, everybody JUST PANICKED and tipped the plane over into a house.

The little baby crocodile survived, then for some UNKNOWN STUPID REASON, the human beings just MURDERED HIM with a machete!!!! I guess nobody ever thought about how scared he was. Anyway, I wrote a poem so that everybody will remember the MURDER of this poor little innocent baby crocodile who never hurt anybody, so maybe this will never happen again!!!

The Baby Crocodile

Ripped from the waters of the River Nile.
They took the baby Crocodile.
They left his brothers there behind
To bask in the warm sunshine.

They stuffed him in a gunny sack
And threw him in the luggage rack.
There he lay, frightened and alone
Thinking only of his river home.

Until somebody had to sneak
A look inside to take a peek.
That is when he tumbled out,
Fell to the aisle, and ran about.

The people, they were scared and ran
This way and that without a plan.
They caused the plane to get lop-sided
With a house it then collided.

One person lived to tell the story.
The actions so retaliatory.
They found the little lost reptile,
Then they killed the Crocodile.

Squeeky
Girl Reporter

Obama's First Grade Papers???

Today I received via email, what purports to be several of Obama's first grade papers. I have not verified the actual documents, but they look real to me.

First, "My First Howse" which appears to show a typical Kenyan dwelling. The "elyfant" also indicates this "howse" might be either in Kenya, or close to a zoo, in either Hawaii or Connectict:

Next, is a document which purports to be a poem by young Obama. The theme indicates an early childhood trauma involving a lion, which also lends credence to a Kenyan location:

Finally, there is a document which probably also echoes the early childhood warnings given in a location which has both mambas and cobras, such as KENYA!!!:

In this day of computer generated documents,it is difficult to determine whether these are REAL, or not. Sadly, that is the problem with PICTURES ON THE INTERNET!!! Like PICTURES of Birth Certificates.

If these documents are REAL, the Obama's poetic output will double. Both of these poems are better than his "amber spot" pome.

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky
Girl Reporter

Anchor Baby - A REALLY GOOD Poem by Tim Burton !!!

There is a poem called "Anchor Baby" by Tim Burton that is in a book of poems by him called The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy. It is one of my FAVORITE books and you should buy it, or at least check it out at the library. It even has little pictures. It is SOOOO GOOOD!!!

Anchor Baby
by Tim Burton

Once was there a beautiful girl who came from the sea.
And there was just one place that she wanted to be.
With a man named Walker who played in a band.
She would leave the ocean and come onto the land.

He was the one that she wanted the most.
And she tried everything to capture this ghost.
But throughout all their lives they never connected.
She wandered the earth alone and rejected

She tried looking happy she tried looking tragic,
She tried astral projecting, sex, and black magic.
Nothing could join them, except maybe one thing, just maybe...
Something to anchor their spirits....They had a baby.

But to give birth to a baby they needed a crane.
The umbilical cord was in the form of a chain.
It was ugly and gloomy, and as hard as a kettle.
It had no pink skin, just heavy grey metal.

The baby that was meant to bring them together
Just shrouded them both in a cloud of foul weather.
So Walker took off to play with the band.
And from that day on, he stayed mainly on land.

And she was alone with her grey baby anchor,
Which got so oppressive that eventually sank her.
As she went to the bottom, not fulfilling her wish,
It was her and her baby ...and a few scattered fish.

Here is the book, and you can look inside:

http://www.amazon.com/Melancholy-Death-Oyster-Boy-Stories/dp/0688156819

Sooo, this is REALLY GOOD book of poems!!!

Squeeky
Girl Reporter

Gettin' Married - NOT!!!

Here is music video by Joanna Smith. I know JUST HOW SHE FEELS!!!



Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky
Girl Reporter

How One Scientist Proved His ED Treatments Worked !!!

Weird Science???

Here is how one scientist proved his ED treatments worked:

The Professor wanted to make his case in the most convincing style possible. He indicated that, in his view, no normal person would find the experience of giving a lecture to a large audience to be erotically stimulating or erection-inducing. He had, he said, therefore injected himself with papaverine in his hotel room before coming to give the lecture, and deliberately wore loose clothes (hence the track-suit) to make it possible to exhibit the results. He stepped around the podium, and pulled his loose pants tight up around his genitalia in an attempt to demonstrate his erection.

At this point, I, and I believe everyone else in the room, was agog. I could scarcely believe what was occurring on stage. But Prof. Brindley was not satisfied. He looked down sceptically at his pants and shook his head with dismay. ‘Unfortunately, this doesn’t display the results clearly enough’. He then summarily dropped his trousers and shorts, revealing a long, thin, clearly erect penis. There was not a sound in the room. Everyone had stopped breathing.

But the mere public showing of his erection from the podium was not sufficient. He paused, and seemed to ponder his next move. The sense of drama in the room was palpable. He then said, with gravity, ‘I’d like to give some of the audience the opportunity to confirm the degree of tumescence’. With his pants at his knees, he waddled down the stairs, approaching (to their horror) the urologists and their partners in the front row. As he approached them, erection waggling before him, four or five of the women in the front rows threw their arms up in the air, seemingly in unison, and screamed loudly. The scientific merits of the presentation had been overwhelmed, for them, by the novel and unusual mode of demonstrating the results.

The screams seemed to shock Professor Brindley, who rapidly pulled up his trousers, returned to the podium, and terminated the lecture. The crowd dispersed in a state of flabbergasted disarray. I imagine that the urologists who attended with their partners had a lot of explaining to do. The rest is history. Prof Brindley's single-author paper reporting these results was published about 6 months later.

Here is the full story:

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2005.05797.x/full

Ohhhh, what does BJU stand for??? Do I even want to know???

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky
Girl Reporter