Girl Reporter

Girl Reporter

Saturday, January 15, 2011

What IF the Tucson Shooter Had Been a Birther???

Squeeky's Soapbox

Daring to go where no Girl Reporter has gone before, today I tackle the question of “What IF the Tucson Shooter had Been a Birther???

Well, the bars and restaurants across the country would have had a financial mini-recovery from all the parties and celebrations by Leftists, Liberals, Democrats, and Obots who would have finally had a chance to high-five each other over their decades long predictions of violence from the RWNJ’s. (Which means Right Wing Nut Jobs, and is just one of the UN-civil “toned-UP” rhetorical terms the Left has used to characterize the Right). I am sure that Bill Ayers would make speeches about how violence doesn’t solve anything and Hysterical Leftist Liberal Democratic lawmakers would be trying to ban talk radio, Fox News, and of course, guns, bullets, pictures of guns and bullets, the words “guns” and “bullets” from the dictionary, etc. UNTIL their Hollywood supporters got riled up and realized how much money they make from “violence” and “mayhem.”

But AFTER all that, once the Left finished celebrating, what would be the likely ramifications???

First, there would have to be a more realistic assignment of blame. This would have to occur because the “Talk Radio Blame” would also imply a “Talk Radio Defense”. And, should the gunman attempt the “Talk Radio Defense”, that would go about as far as “The Twinkie Defense” in the public’s mind. This fact is already evident in the public’s overwhelming dismissal of the Leftist rhetorical ghoulishness.

Sooo, primary blame would lie with the gunman. As well it should. But what about the secondary blame? In real life, we are seeing that secondary blame starting to focus in on what the Tucson police and mental health professionals could or should have done with somebody as obviously nuts as Jared Loughner.

Therefore, it is easy to theorize that IF the shooter had been a Birther, there would be a similar attempt to assign secondary blame. Questions would necessarily arise as to WHY there was any question about where Obama was born. And, there is only one person who could have answered that question and resolved the issue –President Obama.

Assume for the minute that Obama was born in America, either Hawaii or Connecticut. Imagine the press conference, that you have a “press” willing to ask tough questions, and also imagine that Obama would answer questions somewhat truthfully. (I know this requires quite a stretch, but just play along and pretend our “press” has cojones, and that Obama had a conscience that day!):
Press: President Obama, can you tell us WHY you didn’t just release your Long Form birth certificate early on and put an end to the questions???

President Obama: I was just real busy being president and didn’t have the time.

Press: But you played golf over 60 times??? And basketball???

President Obama: Well, in addition, I didn’t really think it was a big problem. I mean I already coughed up a Short Form birth certificate to whatever that group was, who put a PICTURE of it on the Internet. Plus, these people would not have believed a Long Form.

Press: So, are you saying that Americans are too stupid to believe the Long Form??? How can you say that if you never released it??? Plus, isn’t that the document that so many of these Birthers were trying to get in court, like 70+ times or something??? How can you just glibly say that giving them what they had been asking for wouldn’t satisfy them??? Plus, what would it have hurt??? Are you saying people would NOT have voted for you if you proved you were born in America???

President Obama: Well, I did release that Short Form birth certificate to that group. . .

Press: That was THREE YEARS AGO, and certainly you were aware that it didn’t work and that there were large numbers of Americans who had some degree of doubt where you were born. Plus, didn’t Gov. Neal Abercrombie of Hawaii state he wanted to resolve this matter??? Are you telling us that you were un-aware that large numbers of Americans wondered where you were born ???

President Obama: Look, can I just level with you guys??? Here is the real reason why. I was told that it would be good for me POLITICALLY if the opposition looked like a bunch of crazy nuts, and that as long as I withheld the Long Form Birth Certificate, the Birthers would keep raising hell about it. That would make it easier for me to scare my base into coughing up campaign funds, and give all my supporters an easy way to make themselves look smart. It was politics, just politics.

Press: Soooo, Mr. President, you’re saying that all these people died so that you could get a few extra votes??? Mr. President, that is GHOULISH!!!

President Obama: Gentlemen, this press conference is over.
This is what I see as the likely outcome IF the Tucson Shooter had been a Birther. Those Leftists, Liberal, Democratic, Obots should keep this in mind as they pray every night for a Birther to go Bonkers and do something like this.

I also call on President Obama to practice what he preaches, and do the civil thing, and cough up a Long Form Birth Certificate and resolve one of the most contentious issues in America!!!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

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